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Preface
During the latter half of the twentieth century
different cultures around the world have suffered an
unrelenting moral decline. Although scientific and
technological advances have created an outer veneer of
prosperity and progress, inner moral values and
convictions have rapidly crumbled. Historically, some
cultures have based their sense of right and wrong on
principles based on the Bible which provided a solid
foundation for life. Today, a growing number of cultures
see morality and ethics as relative and subjective and
have developed their own version of "morality" with
little regard to absolute standards.
This idea of moral tolerance has been eroding the
foundation of the family and society. Countless couples
today have little or no concept of how to maintain a
successful marriage and how to raise children to become
responsible adults. In addition, educators, politicians,
and the alternative messages and values of the media in
various forms are attacking and redefining the family.
This creates a vast amount of confusion about what a
family is. Many people today proclaim that "family
values" are important, but the gradual shift to moral
relativism has led to a great debate about what "family
values" ought to be.
The strength of a nation lies in the homes of its
people. It is our conviction that the family is the
backbone of the Christian church and of society as a
whole. History shows that, if any society wants to
survive, it must uphold, strengthen, and continue to
build upon the biblical institutions of marriage and
family.
The Bible begins in Genesis with the marriage of a man
and a woman and ends in the Book of Revelation with the
marriage of Christ and His bride, the Church. In
between, God provides timeless blueprints for family
life, which, if followed in a spirit of humility and
obedience, provide us with the only true way to maintain
healthy family relationships.
The following document affirms this biblical model and
challenges us to consider how we should live where our
family matters most whether that is within the home or
out in the community. It is offered in a spirit of love
and humility, not of judgment or contention.
Furthermore, it is not intended to be a comprehensive
doctrinal statement about what the Bible says about
marriage, family, and related subjects.
Unquestionably, this document attempts to face critical
cultural issues. We invite response from anyone who
wishes to affirm the truths of marriage and family from
the Scriptures. It is our hope that this document will
serve to accurately represent the truth God has revealed
to us in Scripture, will provide insight into what a
biblical family looks like, and will show how we can
honor and glorify Him in our family relationships.
We
freely acknowledge that we, like all people, have often
denied the biblical truths of family life by the way we
live. We desire, however, to live by God's grace in
accordance with the principles stated herein and to pass
these principles on to future generations so that He
will be honored and glorified as our families reflect
His character.
The Bible
We
believe the Bible was written by men who were divinely
inspired by God the Holy Spirit, and we believe it to be
authoritative and errorless in its original autographs.
We believe the Bible contains the blueprints for
building solid marriage and family relationships. It
teaches principles for marriage and family life that
transcend time and culture. We are committed to
communicating biblical truth in order to strengthen and
give direction to a marriage and family. (2 Timothy
3:16; 2 Peter 1:20-21; Hebrews 4:12)
Family
We
believe God is the originator of the family. It was
established by God in His inaugural act of the marriage
between a man and a woman. The Bible further defines the
family through God's instruction for married couples to
have children, whether by birth or by adoption. We
believe the purpose of the family is to glorify and
honor God by forming the spiritual, emotional, physical,
and economic foundation for individuals, the church, and
any society.
It
is at home that children see manhood and womanhood
modeled. It is at home that moral values are taught by
parents and placed into the hearts of their children. It
is at home that people see the reality of a relationship
with Jesus Christ modeled. It is at home that people
learn to live out their convictions. Therefore, we are
committed to upholding the concept of family as God's
original and primary means of producing a godly
offspring and passing on godly values from generation to
generation. (Ephesians 3:14-15; Genesis 1:26-28; Romans
8:15,23; John 1:12; Galatians 3:29; Psalm 78:5-7;
Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
Marriage
We
believe God, not man, created marriage. We believe
marriage was the first institution designed by God. We
believe the Bible teaches that the covenant of marriage
is sacred and life long. The Bible makes it clear that
marriage is a legally binding public declaration of
commitment and a private consummation between one man
and one woman, never between the same sex. Therefore, we
believe God gives a wife to a husband and a husband to a
wife, and they are to receive one another as God's
unique and personal provision to help meet their mutual
needs.
We
believe God created marriage for the purpose of couples
glorifying God as one flesh, parenting godly children,
and enjoying sexual pleasure. As iron sharpens iron, we
believe God uses marriage to sharpen a man and woman
into the image of Jesus Christ. Just as the Trinity
reflects equal worth with differing roles, we believe
God created a man and a woman with equal worth but with
differing roles and responsibilities in marriage.
Finally, we declare the marriage commitment must be
upheld in our culture as that sacred institution of God
in which men and women can experience the truest sense
of spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy, so that
the two can become one. (Genesis 2:18-25; Ephesians
5:30-32; 1 Corinthians 7:3; Matthew 19:4-6; Mark 10:6-9,
12:25; Proverbs 27:17; Romans 1:26-27, 8:29; Hebrews
13:4; Matthew 22:30; Deuteronomy 24:5; Song of Solomon)
Husbands
We
believe God has charged each husband to fulfill the
responsibility of being the "head" (servant leader) of
his wife. We believe God created a man incomplete, and
as a husband, he needs his wife as his helper. We
believe a husband will give account before God for how
he has loved, served, and provided for his wife. We
reject the notion that a husband is to dominate his
wife. Likewise, we reject the notion that a husband is
to abdicate his responsibilities to lead his wife.
Rather, we believe his responsibility is to love his
wife. This love is characterized by taking the
initiative to serve her, care for her, and honor her as
a gift from God. We believe his responsibility is to
protect his wife and help provide for her physical,
emotional, and spiritual needs.
We
also believe a husband is to seek after and highly
regard his wife's opinion and counsel and treat her as
the equal partner she is in Christ. Therefore, we are
committed to exhort and implore men not to abuse their
God-given responsibilities as husbands, but rather to
initiate a sacrificial love for their wives, in the same
way Jesus Christ initiated sacrificial love and
demonstrated it fully on the cross. (Genesis 2:18-25;
Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:19; 1 Peter 3:7; 1
Timothy 5:8)
Wives
We
believe God has charged each wife to fulfill the
responsibility of being her husband's "helper." We
believe a wife will give account to God for how she has
loved, respected, and given support to her husband. We
uphold the biblical truth that she is of equal value
with her husband before God. We reject the notion that a
wife should assume the leadership responsibilities of
her husband. Likewise, we reject the notion that a wife
should passively defer to the dominance of her husband.
We believe that her responsibility is to willingly and
intelligently affirm, respect, and submit to her husband
as the leader in the relationship and in his vocational
calling. Therefore, we are committed to exhorting a wife
to be in support of her husband by accepting and
excelling in her responsibility as his helper. (Genesis
2:18-25; Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter
3:1-6; Proverbs 31:10-12)
Sexual Union
We
believe the Bible clearly states that marriage is the
only context for sexual intimacy. We believe
contemporary culture is pressing single people to engage
prematurely in acts that are intended only for the
context of marriage. Our culture has rejected God's plan
for intimacy by promoting sexual promiscuity of various
kinds and, as a consequence, has brought upon itself
sexual diseases and relational dysfunctions. We believe
in sexual purity and fidelity.
Therefore, we are committed to training parents to teach
their children at an early age to respect their
sexuality and to preserve their virginity and purity
until marriage. We are committed to communicating the
message to teenagers, single adults, and married couples
that sexual intimacy is available only in the context of
marriage. (Genesis 2:24-25; Romans 1:24-27; 1
Thessalonians 4:3-8)
Fathers
We
believe God has charged a father to execute the
responsibilities of a family leader. He is accountable
before God to lead his family by sacrificially loving
his wife and children and by providing for their
physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. We believe the
greatest way a father can love his children is to love
their mother. We believe children gain much of their
concept of God from their fathers.
We
believe a father should teach his children, by
instruction and example, truth from the Bible and how to
apply it practically in daily life. Therefore, a father
should spend a quantity of time, as well as quality
time, with each child. We believe a father should
demonstrate godly character revealed in humility,
tenderness, and patience toward his children. We believe
a father should demonstrate love by practicing
consistent discipline with each child. Therefore, we are
committed to turning the hearts of fathers back to their
children by emphasizing the importance of their role as
"father." We are committed to exhorting every father to
model a love for God and His Word, to model love for his
wife, and to love his children. (Malachi 4:6; Ephesians
6:4; Colossians 3:20-21; Deuteronomy 6:4-9; 1 Timothy
3:4-5, 5:8)
Mothers
We
believe God has uniquely designed women to be mothers.
We believe the greatest way a mother can love her
children is to love their father. We also believe God
has created a woman with an innate and special ability
to nurture and care for her children.
Therefore, we believe mothers are the primary people who
execute the vital responsibilities of loving, nurturing,
and mentoring children. We believe these
responsibilities should be met before a mother
contemplates any other duties. We believe our culture
has devalued the role of a mother by placing greater
significance on activities outside the home than on
those inside the home.
We
realize there are cases where a mother will find it
necessary to work outside the home (e.g. financial
distress, single parenthood); however, we also believe
some couples have made career and lifestyle choices that
result in de-emphasizing the mother's role as nurturer.
Therefore, we are committed to presenting a biblical
framework through which couples can rightly evaluate
their priorities in light of a mother's role. We are
committed to elevating motherhood by rightly assessing
its exalted value in God's economy of the family. We are
committed to exhorting mothers to model love for God and
His Word, to model love for her husband, and to love her
children. (Titus 2:4-5; 1 Thessalonians 2:7; Proverbs
14:1, 31:1-31; Deuteronomy 6:6, 11:19; Ezekiel 16:44-45)
Children
We
believe children are the gifts of God and should be
received and treated as such. We believe a child's life
begins at conception. We believe children have a special
responsibility to God in obeying and honoring their
parents. We believe a child's identity and spiritual
growth is either helped or hindered by his parents'
devotion to God, to one another, and to him. Parents
should see themselves as God's ambassadors, working to
build strong character in the lives of their children
through consistent godly living, nurturing, discipline,
and teaching them right from wrong. We are committed to
God's plan for passing His love down through the ages by
encouraging parents to love their children "so the
generations to come might know" the love and forgiveness
of Christ. (Ephesians 6:1-3; Colossians 3:20; Psalms
78:5-8, 127:3-5, 139:13-16; Proverbs 4:1, 6:20)
Childless
Couples
We
believe God has allowed some couples to be without
biological children according to His sovereign plan in
their lives. We believe couples without children are of
no less value before God than those with children. We
believe in encouraging childless couples to consider
adoption as a family alternative. We are committed to
encouraging childless couples to pass on a godly legacy
through involvement with children in their immediate
families, churches, and communities. (Luke 1:6-7; Romans
8:28-29)
Grandparents
We
believe grandparents are to be honored as valued family
members. We believe their wisdom in living should be
sought and passed on to their children and their
children's children. We also believe that grandparents
have the responsibility of teaching and modeling to
their grandchildren how to know Jesus Christ and grow in
a relationship with Him as well as passing along
biblical principles for godly living. The Old Testament
is filled with examples of grandfathers and grandmothers
who excelled in their roles of grand parenting.
Therefore, we are committed to giving honor to
grandparents by encouraging their children and
grandchildren to listen to their voices of wisdom. We
are also committed to exhorting grandparents to pray for
and become actively involved with children and
grandchildren whenever it is possible. (1 Timothy 5:4;
Genesis 18:18-19; Proverbs 17:6; Psalm 78)
Church
We
believe the family and the church are interdependent. A
primary responsibility of the church is to help build
godly families, and godly families also help build the
church. We believe the family supplies the relational
rudiments of the local church. We believe the local
church is the spiritual home where families should
corporately worship God. It is the place where the
knowledge and love of God may be communicated to
fathers, mothers, and children.
Therefore, we are committed to exhorting families to
support the local church through their involvement. We
are also committed to exhorting the local church to
uphold the priority of helping build godly marriages and
families. (1 Timothy 3:15; Ephesians 5:22-33; Philemon
1:2; Colossians 4:15)
Divorce
We
believe God's plan for marriage is that it be a lifelong
commitment between one man and one woman. We believe God
hates divorce. We believe divorce brings harm to every
person involved. Therefore, reconciliation of a marriage
should be encouraged and divorce discouraged. We also
believe that God allows for divorce in certain
situations, not because He wills it, but because of the
hardness of people's hearts. We believe the Bible
teaches that God allows for divorce in the case of
adultery and in the case where an unbelieving spouse has
chosen to abandon the commitment of marriage.
We
believe, however, that it is God's priority that marital
oneness be restored and that, through the power of the
gospel of Jesus Christ, forgiveness and reconciliation
be experienced. We believe that in the unfortunate cases
of abuse and abandonment, God has provided protection
for an abused spouse and provision for child support
through the church, civil law, godly counselors, prayer,
and other practical measures. We believe God can restore
broken people and broken marriages by His grace, by the
power of His Spirit, and by His practical truths found
in the Bible. (Malachi 2:16; Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-9;
Mark 10:6-12; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:1-3; Romans 13:1-5; 1
Corinthians 7:15)
Single Parents
We
believe that, ideally, a child needs the influence of
both a father and mother for healthy development in life
and relationships. At the same time, we recognize that
God's grace is sufficient and that He is a father to the
fatherless and a husband to the husbandless. We also
believe He is a guardian to children without a mother
and a friend to a husband who has lost his wife.
We
believe God, by His grace, can use the void left from a
missing parent to accomplish His eternal purposes of
building Christlike character in single parents and
their children. We believe a single parent and his or
her children are a family and that the Bible contains
principles for them to grow as a family. We believe the
local church should be a home for single parents,
providing their children with godly people who serve as
role models in place of the missing parent.
Therefore, we are committed to exhorting Christians
within the local church to creatively help meet the
needs associated with single-parent homes. We are
committed to comforting and encouraging single-parent
families by providing resources and developing biblical
principles to assist those who struggle in the role of a
single parent. (Psalm 68:5-6; 1 Corinthians 7:32; James
1:27; 1 Timothy 5:3-16; Romans 8:28-29; Luke 18:3-5)
Broken and
Blended Families
We
believe God has allowed men and women, either by
circumstance or by choice, to endure difficult and
painful consequences in their marriages and family
relationships. We also believe God gives abundant grace
to the broken, blended, and single-parent families.
Therefore, we believe He can and does enable them to
carry out His functions and principles for healthy
family life. We are committed to comforting,
encouraging, and teaching these families God's
principles of marriage and family life. We are also
committed to exhorting the local church to help with the
burden of the broken family. (James 1:27; 1 Timothy
5:16; Philippians 4:13)
Work and the
Family
We
believe work is an important and necessary aspect of
one's service to God and one's responsibility to provide
for the needs of the family. We also believe security
and significance cannot be found through pursuing career
goals or financial achievement apart from one's
responsibility to God and one's spouse and family.
Instead, we believe those needs are best met in the
warmth of a home where parents and children are
experiencing harmony in their relationships with each
other and with Jesus Christ. Therefore, we are committed
to challenging any person or couple to rearrange their
priorities so that over the course of a lifetime they
can be successful at home and not merely successful in
their careers. (Revelation 3:14-22; Ephesians 6:7-8;
Matthew 6:33; 1 Timothy 5:8; 1 Thessalonians 4:10-12)
Mentors
We
believe in the biblical admonition for older men and
women to teach younger men and women. We believe younger
couples today should seek out older couples for their
wisdom and counsel in matters of marriage and family. We
believe older couples should be taught and encouraged to
mentor younger couples and we believe this is best
accomplished through the local church. Therefore, we are
committed to establishing a strategy for mentoring that
the local church may implement and use to build strong
marriages and families. (Titus 2:3-5)
Marriage
Education
We
believe single adults who choose to marry should be
taught the biblical principles of marriage. We also
believe the education of a married couple does not end
after the wedding ceremony is over, but continues
throughout life. Therefore, we believe that both
premarital and post-marital education is helpful and
essential in a couple's growth toward and in oneness. We
are committed to elevating, establishing, and teaching
the precepts of marriage by which single adults can
rightly evaluate their relationships and equip
themselves for marriage. We are committed to providing
the teaching and training necessary to equip married
couples to live a lifetime together as one. Finally, we
are committed to showing couples how their marriages can
be used by God to give others the hope found only in
Jesus Christ. (Titus 2; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; Acts
16:31-34; John 4:53)
The Deceiver
and Culture
We
believe there is a living Devil who is God's enemy and
whose nature and objective is to lie and deceive. We
believe the Devil has attacked God's plan for the family
from the beginning of man until now. We believe he uses
the various aspects of the culture to promote personal
independence, distort the differences between men and
women, confuse their roles, and elevate personal rights
over marital responsibilities. We believe the Devil
seeks to persuade people to move away from God's plan
for intimacy and oneness and toward isolation and
divorce. (John 8:44; Genesis 3; Isaiah 14:12-14; Ezekiel
28:12-18; 1 Peter 5:8; Ephesians 6:12; 1 John 2:15)
God - the Creator of
the Family
Father
We
believe in the Fatherhood of God. The title "Father"
implies that God is a relational being. The Bible
reveals God has four primary relationships as Father: He
is the Father of creation, of the nations, of the Lord
Jesus Christ, and of all believers. We believe the Bible
presents the title "Father" as one of the primary names
Christians should use in addressing and relating to God.
In doing so, Christians identify themselves as children
who belong to the family of God. We are committed to
proclaiming and demonstrating this truth about who God
is and who we are, so that God will be glorified, and
that He might use us to bring others into His family
through a personal relationship with His Son. (John
1:12; Exodus 3:14-15; Ephesians 3:16; Matthew 6:9;
Romans 8:15; Acts 17:24-28)
Son
We
believe God the Son, fully revealed in the person of
Jesus Christ, was God's final sacrifice for the sins of
man through the shedding of His blood on the cross and
His resurrection from the dead. We believe He is the
only way to know God the Father and to experience His
plan for marriage and family. We are committed to
introducing people to Jesus Christ in order that, by
faith, they might personally receive Him, be born into
the family of God, receive forgiveness and eternal life,
and begin a relationship with God that is essential in
marriage and family life. (John 1:4,12, 17:3; 1 John
2:23-24; Ephesians 2:19-22; Colossians 1:13-18; Hebrews
1:1-4)
Holy Spirit
We
believe God the Holy Spirit is the agent and teacher of
a godly marriage and family. We believe when Christian
couples and their children consistently yield to His
control and power, they will experience harmony in their
marriages and families. Therefore, we are committed to
sharing the ministry of the Holy Spirit with people so
they may know God better, make Him known to others, and
appropriate His power in fulfilling their duties in
marriage and family relationships. (John 14:26, 15:26,
16:5-15; Ephesians 5:18-21)
Commitment
In recognition of and in full agreement with these
biblical principles regarding marriage and the family,
I, by the grace of God, commit myself to adhere to,
practice, and teach what God has made clear are my
responsibilities within His design of marriage and the
family.
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