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Many of us have heard tales
of a torture method called “water torture.” Presumably,
the victim is restrained while water slowly drips onto
his forehead. Eventually, the incessant dripping on the
same spot over and over drives the victim insane. Are
these stories true? Possibly. But what does this have to
do with marriage?
Proverbs 19:13 says, “A
quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.” Our bad
attitudes, nagging, and negative comments can become
like a continual drip-drip-drip to our husbands. It’s no
surprise that this concept is parallel to a method of
torture!
Most of us don’t go into
marriage devising ways to make life difficult for our
husbands. But few couples realize that with those words
“I do” come some very serious new responsibilities. But
what are these responsibilities?
Luckily, we aren’t left
without some guidance in this area. The Bible gives
plenty of guidelines to show us how to have a happy
marriage and to fulfill our responsibilities to love,
support, and respect our husbands.
The book of Titus admonishes
the older women to teach the younger women how to love
their husbands. You might say, “But why would someone
need to be taught how to love? Doesn’t love come
naturally?” Not always. Try inserting your name into
these verses to see how well you measure up:
“Love is patient, love is
kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does
not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
The truth is, we could all
use some help in this area!
Loving also requires being
physically responsive to our husbands. A good example of
a romantic and responsive wife is the Shulamite woman in
Song of Solomon. She says, “I belong to my lover, and
his desire is for me. Come, my lover, let us go to the
countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let
us go early to the vineyards… there I will give you my
love.” (7:10-12).
Another responsibility for
wives involves supporting our husbands. Men and women
are of equal value and importance, but God has designed
us for different tasks. When God created Eve for Adam,
He referred to her as Adam’s “helper.” Every husband
needs the loving support of his wife if he’s going to be
everything God created him to be. Proverbs 31:10-12
says, “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is
far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in
her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good
and not evil all the days of her life.”
Finally, the Bible is clear
that we are to respect our husbands (Ephesians 5:33).
When a wife respects her husband, she demonstrates to
him that she understands his pressures and needs, and
that she admires and has confidence in him. This boosts
his confidence, which makes him more able and willing to
be a godly servant-leader.
We’re all going to have
plenty of opportunities in our marriages to choose
between being a constant dripping of negativity and
showing our husbands love, support, and respect. Resolve
not to “water torture” your husband, but instead be a
refreshing and uplifting friend and helper. |
