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The honeymoon: That joyous
time when a newlywed couple is able to devote their time
to nothing more than pleasing and enjoying each other.
There are few weeks in my life that even come close to
matching the joy and excitement of the week my husband
and I spent on the beach after our wedding. We came home
with great memories, a new understanding of each other,
slight sunburns, and a few lessons we learned along the
way.
• Alone time is okay
On our wedding night, before I had even had a chance
to remove the hundreds of bobby pins stuck throughout my
hair, I collapsed onto the bed in our hotel room and
said the words that I’m sure my new husband wasn’t too
keen on: “I’m so tired!” But instead of pouting, Trey
sat down beside me, gently stroked my hand, and asked if
I would like to go take a bubble bath. Alone. On our
wedding night.
I didn’t take him up on his offer that night, but it
showed me that Trey understands my occasional need to
retreat. As part of my personality, I sometimes have to
take some time by myself to collect my thoughts and
unwind. There were very few times on our honeymoon that
I wanted to be alone, but those few moments that Trey
graciously granted me were enough to energize me to give
more of myself during our time together.
• Enjoy the special
attention while it lasts
Although Trey and I had a fairly untraditional beach
wedding, we did not escape the time-honored ritual of
having our car covered in “Just Married” signs. The back
seat was filled with balloons, and decals on every
window proudly displayed our newlywed status.
Little did I realize that those silly signs would give
us a major advantage in battling traffic. Everywhere we
went, people would courteously allow us to pull in front
of them as they honked and gave us a thumbs-up.
Alas, we couldn’t keep those signs up forever. But now
that the excitement and congratulations have tapered
off, we have even more of a reason to attend to each
other with special attention and remind ourselves that
our marriage should be celebrated.
• Sharing a bed is not
always romantic
The only time on our honeymoon that I felt a twinge
of annoyance at Trey was during a moment when he was
sound asleep, blissfully unaware that I was glaring at
him through the darkness. You guessed it – he was
snoring! I’m a light sleeper, so even the faintest of
noises wakes me up. I was disappointed that my
pre-wedding notions of falling asleep in each other’s
arms had turned into reality – me, wide-awake, next to
the human tractor.
As I tossed and turned that night (and several nights
since then) I had to remind myself that with marriage
comes everything good and everything bad about that
person. I sometimes quote Romans 8:28 to myself: “And we
know that God causes all things to work together for
good to those who love God, to those who are called
according to His purpose.” All things. I know that God
can use mine and Trey’s bad habits and mistakes to breed
patience and kindness in us. Over the next couple of
years, Trey and I are going to find many insignificant
(or not-so-insignificant) flaws in each other, and our
choices will be to either call it quits, or to look past
them and choose patience, love, and respect. Our
marriage vows tell us what our decision should be. But
we will have to choose the right decision each day. And
investing in some good earplugs may not be a bad idea!
• Don’t schedule too much
to do
Our honeymoon was quite an adventure! We went
parasailing, sampled new foods, watched a shark feeding,
went on a dolphin cruise, and took moonlit strolls on
the beach. However, my favorite memories are of the
times we spent alone together. We opened up our balcony
doors at night and listened to the waves as we curled up
together and talked. Ultimately, this is really what a
honeymoon is about. It doesn’t take a faraway, exotic
location to spend quality time together as husband and
wife; it only takes time and commitment.
• Develop new habits
The days immediately following the wedding can seem
a bit jarring, in the sense that suddenly, everything
has changed. You have changed. This time of adjustment
and transition is the perfect time to put into practice
certain habits for your relationship. I’m not talking
about habits like picking up your dirty socks or making
the bed each day. On our honeymoon, Trey and I began the
habit of praying together at night before we went to
sleep. There is no better way to get your marriage off
on the right foot than by keeping your focus on God, the
author of marriage. Ecclesiastes says that “a threefold
cord is not quickly broken.” Develop the habits that
will keep your cord strong.
• Hold nothing back
Before I got married, I knew that I wouldn’t
hesitate to share my time, possessions, thoughts, or
even my money with Trey. I had already done most of
those things with him or other friends and family, to a
degree. But one concept that was completely foreign to
me was the idea of sharing my body with someone. 1
Corinthians 7:4 states, “The wife does not have
authority over her own body, but the husband does; and
likewise also the husband does not have authority over
his own body, but the wife does.” This was a strange
idea for me to come to terms with because my body has
always been mine. No one else has ever had a say in what
I did with it. God’s pronouncement in this verse comes
with great responsibility: When you have authority over
someone else’s body, it is your duty to treat that
responsibility delicately and with absolute respect.
This means allowing your spouse the freedom to voice
concerns or to take time to be comfortable with a new
situation. But this verse also emphasized for me how
closely intertwined a husband and wife are supposed to
be – so much so that even their bodies belong to one
another. This kind of submission does not come
naturally. But following God’s Word is the only way we
can experience everything good that He designed for
marriage.
• Match sleeping
schedules
I’m a morning person; Trey is definitely not. I
remember having a conversation with him before we were
married, and I told him that I felt like we’d never get
to see each other if we kept going to bed and getting up
at different times. On the honeymoon, Trey made the
effort to get up early each morning with me, so by the
time I was ready to go to sleep, he was too. Still, I
knew that it was a difficult change for him. When we
returned home, I began taking care of tasks such as
packing my lunch and ironing at night rather than in the
morning so that I could sleep in with Trey a bit. We’ve
devised a pretty efficient schedule this way. Now Trey
sleeps until I get out of the shower, then we have
breakfast together. This little bit of time together in
the morning helps us both to start our day out right.
And neither of us feels like we’ve had to change our
sleeping habits to an extreme.
• Make each other as
comfortable as possible
I’m reluctant to admit this, but on our first night
together in our apartment after returning from the
honeymoon, we shared our bed with a third member: a very
large stuffed duck. I had been excited all day as we
traveled because we were finally coming home together.
But once we got there, I didn’t feel at home. It still
felt to me like Trey’s apartment, and I was an outsider.
Trey could tell I was feeling a little homesick, so he
dug around in the bags and boxes I hadn’t unpacked until
he found the duck. He didn’t bring it out to patronize
me; rather, he knew that it had been a fixture in my
room at my parents’ house for years. I went to sleep
that night clutching the giant duck, thankful that Trey
knew that such a simple act helped to ease my anxiety. I
have since re-packed the duck, and even though I feel a
little embarrassed about that first night in our
apartment, I’m glad that Trey was attentive to my needs
and willing to help me feel as at-home as possible –
even if it meant sharing the bed with a stuffed animal.
• Keep the honeymoon
going
Most people have heard the expression “the
honeymoon’s over.” And it’s true that at some point
after the wedding, life begins to settle back into
normal routines of jobs, bills, and cleaning house. But
that doesn’t mean your attitude has to change. Think
about special things you did for each other on your
honeymoon, or even while you were still dating. Don’t
slip into a habit of taking each other for granted. Your
spouse is a gift of God! It’s your responsibility to
receive this wonderful gift by appreciating and loving
your spouse unconditionally.
• Being married is
wonderful
This is probably the most important lesson I learned
on my honeymoon. Whatever hurdles we come across, at
least we’re in this together. God has blessed us greatly
by giving us to each other, and I’m so thankful for the
way He designed marriage. And as long as we put God
first, we know that He will continue to bless our
marriage. How do we know that? Psalm 37:4: “Delight
yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires
of your heart.”
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