You Can Be a HomeBuilders Leader!
If you’re looking for an opportunity
to help other families, the HomeBuilders Couples Series
is for you.
by Drew and Kit Coons
average lay couple be used by God to have a significant
impact with families? Yes!
Without any special training, we began a small-group
study in 1989 using the HomeBuilders Couples Series. God
transformed marriages before our eyes, and many people
came to know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. And
though we had a good, stable marriage, we were thrilled
to see God take it to an even higher level.
During the next 10 years we trained hundreds of couples
how to lead HomeBuilders groups. We saw that, though God
calls all of us who are His disciples to make a real
difference in others' lives, many laymen are held back
by a lack of vision and a failure to develop ministry
HomeBuilders groups give you the opportunity to make a
real difference in the lives of today's families. And
you don’t need a seminary degree to lead one. Special
training is not necessary. What is required is a basic
willingness to allow God to work in and through your
life as you reach out to others. This involves at least
1. A desire
to love and encourage people. Perhaps no skill is more
important in leading a volunteer ministry than the
ability to encourage others. And all of us need
encouragement. The Bible has many exhortations to
encourage one another. Jesus’ ministry and Paul’s are
full of encouraging words. We suggest you start by
practicing on your mate.
Some people who join a group are difficult to love and
encourage. God’s Word is clear that we are to love them
regardless of their response. Since we know loving them
is God’s will, we can ask God by faith to give us His
love for that person. 1 John 5:14-15 guarantees that He
will give us that love in answer to our prayer.
Remember that God’s love is much more than feelings. It
may take awhile for your feelings to change. To
accelerate the process, do something nice for that
difficult person, secretly if possible. Find something
positive about him or her and concentrate on it. You’ll
find that God has kept His promise as your feelings
start to change.
willingness to practice hospitality. There’s something
special about inviting guests into your home even for a
few hours. You don’t need a fancy house (or even a neat
house) or expensive food to serve. What you do need is
to honor and value your guests.
Every guest is special. You can show it in many ways,
like taking an interest in guests, meaningful
communication, food preparation, or even small gifts.
Godly hospitality can extend well beyond our homes. It
can be any act of thoughtfulness that demonstrates how
much we value the person. Remembering birthdays, a
willingness to help out, and encouraging notes are all
types of hospitality. If Jesus cared enough to die for
sinners, we should be able to go out of our way to serve
those around us and demonstrate His love.
3. A desire
to invest in your own marriage. Everyone who has led a
Bible study knows that the teacher always learns the
most. Leading a HomeBuilders group means that you will
spend time every week as a couple talking about how the
Scriptures apply to your lives. Nothing will help you
We also encourage couples to use their groups to
establish accountability to stay committed to their
mates. Kit and I made a special commitment several years
ago. We had seen one too many Christians fail morally. I
(Drew) went to the men I worked with and asked, “If you
see me flirting with a woman, or having any involvement
that could even lead to trouble, I want you to tell
Kit.” Now there’s a big incentive!”
4. A desire
to minister as a couple. “My wife always supported my
ministry,” a godly pastor said. “She played the piano
and attended all the classes I taught. But when we
started team-teaching this Bible study [HomeBuilders]
together, it was different.” He went on to describe how
much fun it was and how well the couples in the study
were responding. Clearly he had discovered a wonderful
resource in his own wife.
Unfortunately, the concept of working together isn’t
very popular in our “Be your own person” culture.
Individualism is revered over partnership. But in
marriage God wants us to need one another, to trust one
another, and to work together for common goals. We
believe one great unrealized opportunity in many
churches is for husbands and wives ministering together
as a couple. In HomeBuilders you have that opportunity.
One thing we’ve learned is how to use our differences to
make our partnership stronger. The Bible says, “Two are
better than one because they have a good return for
their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will
lift up his companion. But, woe to the one who falls
when there is not another to lift him up” (Ecclesiastes
All of us have major differences. God knows that when He
puts us together. In fact, the more different we are the
stronger we can be as a team. It’s like the legs on your
chair. If we were to squeeze those legs next to each
other, how stable would the chair be? But when the legs
are spread out like normal, the chair is stable and
useful. God can use our differences if we learn to work
together as a team.
When we lead a HomeBuilders group, one way we work as a
team by dividing the preparation and cleanup duties. Kit
prepares a dessert to enjoy after the discussion, while
Drew helps straighten the house and sets up chairs for
the meeting. We try to have everything finished so we
will both be free to spend time with the couples when
they arrive. Afterwards we clean up together.
During the study, we often take turns leading the
different sections. While one is leading, the other can
be extra sensitive to what God may be doing in the
hearts of the people in the group and direct the
discussion to those needs when the roles switch again.
Co-leading like this also demonstrates a husband and
wife working together. Many couples respond very well to
We would like you to think of the HomeBuilders Couples
Series as your ministry—not his or hers, but belonging
to both of you. Together you can have a unique influence
in the lives of other couples. At the same time you’ll
be strengthening your own relationship as husband and
wife through the biblical applications in the studies
and by trusting God together to serve others.
is excerpted by permission from the HomeBuilders
Leader’s Guide, by Drew and Kit Coons with David Boehi,
© 2000, Group Publishing. This new resource provides
encouraging words and helpful tips for anyone who
desires to start a HomeBuilders group. You can order
this resource by calling